So.

I'm writing for a blog now called Liquid.

You know you want to read.

what i love about kh

what can I even say about miss katie h? i love her so dearly. 1. i think she has one of the most keen, witty sense of humor I've ever come across. It's like quick satire meets sassy understatement. 2. i think her heart is full of courage. i think she will go and do things that many people won't. 3. I think she is SO dang cute. i mean, seriously. 4. i think she has a healthy balance of independence with respect for others. basically, she's becoming a proverbs 31 woman even if she doesn't know it. 5. i know that when things are hard, she still pushes forward. i hesitate to use the word tough, but she's tough. yet, oh so tricky to use that word, b/c she's also delightedly feminine and soft. 6. i think there's a peace about her spirit even in the midst of the troubled waters. 7. i think God has purposed in her something sweet and special and will probably be realized in a brilliant creation of the shade of gray (not as in sad, just as in gray, the sweetest color out there right now....). It will have to come out in some delightfully artistic expression, because she practical oozes delightful artistic expression. 8. i respect her love for all things chocolate cookie. 9. i respect her for seeking God even when it doesn't feel like it. 10. "For The Lord's portion is His people, Jacob, His allotted heritage. He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He kept him as the apple [ee-shone] of His eye." Deuteronomy 32: 9 - 10.

don't let me forget

...to be thankful for this week.

Gracious. Thank you Jesus for opening doors, for giving favor, for giving exceedingly abundantly beyond.

Thanks to my sweet small group of girls who gave of themselves to help me out with my new job.

So so thankful.

happy birthday, jefe!

Holy moly. I'm tired. Kasey (the sister-in-law) and I and another of my brother's friend hijacked my John from work yesterday for his 30th birthday. He was subsequently blindfolded and taken skydiving. Then dinner with way too many people and karaoke afterward - John did an entire Snoop song (wound up so out of breath that a lung nearly collapsed, but still...). It was epic. And exhausting.

But it was worth it!

And I of course wanted to take this post to honor him on his 30th bday with a list of my favorite moments of all times with
John Stanley.

10. When I was jogging on the Bear Trail in college (It was the cool thing to do. Be seen. Be in shape.), John and his friend were driving past me. They decided it would be funny to swerve onto the curb to spook me while I was in the zone and not paying attention. They did. And in my ever-present agility and bodily awareness, I managed to trip, face plant and break my walkman. (YEAH, IT WAS A WALKMAN. SO?). John had to drive me home because I managed to hurt my hip in the incident. THANKS A LOT, JOHN.

9. My freshman year at Baylor, all three of us older siblings were at the same school. It was epic (not for my parents....), in that literally, everything I said or did wound up coming back to them. I hated/loved that. Being a naive little freshman, I went out to a frat party with some nice guy that I met in the Baylor Symphony. (He was a first-chair bassist - how dangerous could he be??). I was being cool, hanging and the party, minding my own business, when in stomps Mark (second oldest brother). He walks straight up to me (in mid-awesome dance move) and says,
"Jennie. This is the worst place you could be." I was so confused. I brushed him off saying, "What are you talking about? This is Kevin, he's nice!" Mark stomped out of the room. Two minutes later, he walks in, cell phone in hand. He shoved it in my face.

"Hello?" I answered.
"Jennie!" John's voice barked, "That is the absolute worse place you could be right now. You need to leave immediately."

I literally was so confused. How did they even know where I was? I mean, it's a fairly large campus, and I didn't regularly check in with them on my Friday night plans. Whatever. I stomped out of the party, humiliated, with Mark trailing behind me, making sure I went safely home to my freshman dorm. Apparently, that fraternity was infamous for slipping things in girls' drinks. Who knew? Later, when I was a little more aware of the social dynamics at Baylor, I realized, that was the worst possible place I could be. Ha. I most certainly DID NOT thank them then, but came to gratitude later.

8. This moment. I don't even remember it, but I love it.

For some reason, it reminds me of a time in college when I had a pretty dramatic anxiety attack - I called John (of course) and he came over while I cried and cried. He ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room and praying for me that night. What can I say? He's good at comforting sisters while they sleep.

7. Going to Haiti with John and a group of people he had helped organize back in 2007. I got to see him walking out as a leader who led with humility, hilarity and wisdom. His heart for the nations and for God's purposes in him and others is astounding. I've been on a few mission trips, and I think he was my favorite leader - the jefe! He was of course responsible and wise, but also a doofus and a lot of fun.

6. The morning Josh passed away, John was the first person I called. Sobbing and so scared, I will never forget what he told me. I had been so afraid of the fact that Josh went to hell, and all John said was,

"Jennie. Our only hope is that when we get to heaven, God will look at us and say, 'I'm more gracious and more loving than you could ever imagine.'"

I love that John lives out that truth. That our God is more kind, loving and gracious than we could even hope for. When John talks about his Jesus, he knows Him.

5. The face that John married one of my best friends, Kasey. I think who you choose for a mate says a lot about who you are. She is sweet, gracious and so kind - maybe some of John's more latent traits. HA. I love that he found for himself a sweet friend and companion and love for him to travel through life together with. They are awesome!

4. When I played in the Baylor symphony, the concert hall was posh and refined. And then there was my ape brothers and their friends acting a fool in the back row. Fist pumping and dancing, they were there to cheer me on at my first college performance. Sweet brothers. John even sent me flowers that day for the event. :)

3. The fact that whenever he says he loves me he always says, "I love you so much it makes me angry." HA. Jefe wouldn't be Jefe without unexplained, unavoidable angst.

2. The day before John left for college, I remember being so so sad. It was this weird moment of realization that our life as a family was about to change (haha...little did I know that we'd all end up at college together later...HA). John, being the sap and sensitive guy (he is hidden by a demeanor of a heart that's 3 sizes too small), played Garth Brooks' "Your Song" for us and as we all sat around and cried. I don't think I've even heard the song since then, but all I remember is that he was telling us that he loved us in his own way.

1. The endless, pointless, redundant jokes that we beat mercilessly to the ground. Jefe's humor is like mine: strange and a little distorted, and maybe slightly inappropriate. He likes awkward humor almost as much as I do. I LOVE it! It keeps me laughing whenever we are together, whether in the slums of Haiti or in the metropolis of Dallas. He is so much fun to be with. I appreciate that humor allows us never to take ourselves too seriously.

I love you, John!
I KNOW that this new year will bring new and amazing things for you and Kasey. As you walk forward, I'm praying that you'll find new life as a leader, a father, a friend and a son of God. Your gifts are irrevocable (no matter how hard you try) and
the calling God has on your life is as plain as the deviated septum in your nose.
Hopefully, you'll get over your awkwardness
as you leave your 20s.
If not, at least I'll be hear to remind you it's still there.

For you this year:

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:25-26.

congrats, pea!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK
Lovely Jill is getting marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiied.
EEK. I am so excited for them.
Jill is one of the most gentle, gracious, (sneakily hilarious)people
that I know
and I am SO glad she has found love and life
and will be getting hitched in the near future.

(please ignore weirdness of my face in above picture, pea, it couldn't be helped. I need one of
you and Brison!!)

Can't wait for you to be "Mrs. Pea Williams"

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I Corinthians 13: 1- 13

things not to communicate over IM

“I mistakenly told them you had Gonorrhea.”

She said that and then smiled. Her cheeks were like little cumulus clouds of delight as she found such humor in the mishap that managed to land me somewhere in the land of wild, unbridled promiscuity and her in the unaffected audience of the theatre of my demise. I wanted to punch the life out of those clouds. Not really. But, well, really.

It had come to my attention that sometime earlier in the week, after I had left the office building where I was temp-to-hire, my friend alerted the office that I had Gonorrhea in a horribly disastrous attempt to correctly name the tropical disease I contracted when I went overseas. (Noted here that the disease was called “Dengue Fever.” My friend told me later, “I just got stuck on the ‘G’ and then couldn’t get out of it!”)

Nonetheless, after things were cleared up (with a few over the counter meds and a vitamin regimen), I needed to make a point to talk to the HR manager about the full-time position they’d offered earlier in the week.

Enter: The intra-office Instant Message (IM) program used both professionally and unprofessionally by the office staff. Often the program is used in an effort to be polite and allow mildly-pressing business discussions to be submitted via IM and then responded to when convenient.

I then, took the opportunity to IM the human resources manager to ask if there was a time - at her convenience - when we could discuss the impending job offer in order to clarify roles and salary.

Jennie to HR manager: "Hey, when you get a minute, can we talk about the receptionist offer?"

HR manager to Jennie: "Oh yeah. About that. We've decided we don't want to move Elisa from her current position." {inserted FROWN-Y FACE}

Jennie to HR manager: “Oh. Haha.”

End of chat.

My own meagre "haha" was merely a cursory response to answer in like light-hearted terms. I literally had no idea what I was supposed to say to the fact that the job they offered was now un-offered over intra-office IM and with an, albeit empathetic, emoticon.

:( says: Goodbye income, goodbye benefits. Goodbye autonomy and ability to pay off debt. Goodbye Christmas. Goodbye Birthdays. Goodbye job offers and 401Ks. Goodbye stability. Goodbye steady regimes. Goodbye freedom from anti-anxiety medicines.

Hmm. I thought. It’s interesting though that despite the more-than slightly devastating news, the frowny face DID make me feel a bit better. Cheap empathy, maybe. But how would I have felt if she would have delivered that line WITHOUT the frowny face? Terrible! So, I continued with my temp work and reasoned, especially after I heard the Gonorrhea story, that their disinclination to hire me was not entirely unfounded.

During that same temp-to-hire stint, I worked in my brother’s office. We are pretty close, as family goes, and generally have been known to enjoy one another’s company. However, until working with him in the office setting, I had no idea that he maintained such an air of stodgy professionalism at all times. This obviously was hard to swallow since I had in my immediate possession some incriminating pictures of a certain office professional’s buttocks as he streaked through a Phi Chi party my sophomore year of college. At any rate, I played a few mild pranks on him during that time. Nothing detrimental or too distracting, but fun nonetheless.

Since he had a fetish with floss, I decided that should obviously work in my favor in my little pranks. One night I swiped one before I left and let it find a new home in a Jell-O mold that subsequently found its way into the office refrigerator with a large sign with his name on it. After the Jell-O mold-ed floss was planted, I plodded diligently along in my cubicle, waiting for the fun.

{overheard}HR manager: “John, I think someone just pulled a Dwight Schrute on you. I’m thinking maybe Jennie.”

John {walks to Jennie’s cubicle}: “Jennie, what did you do?”

I could see the big vein coming out of his forehead already.

Jennie: “What?”

John: “Did you put something in Jell-o?”

I couldn't smile yet, so I made myself think of something sad, like the fact that most of my college friends still can't differentiate between "your" and "you're" or my dog that died in second grade.

Jennie: “What in Jell-o?”

John: “I don’t know, in the break room?”

Jennie: “Huh?”

John: “Did you put a piece of office equipment in Jell-o?”

Jennie: “No.”

I answered sure and swift. He turned and marched so bow-leggedly to the break room that I was sure he was going to accidentally pivot on an axis.

HR manager: {peaks in Jennie’s cubicle}

Jennie: {smiles}

HR manager: {sits back at her cubicle}

John: {plops down Jell-O mold/mound container, now half-empty} “Where’s the top?" he said in a hoarse whisper, “Jennie, this is too soon. Are you trying to get fired?!”

My favorite vein of his to monitor was pulsating visibly now to the beat of something like "Hammer Time."

Jennie: {looks up meekly} “It wasn’t a piece of office equipment.”

life and times of the job hunt

Sooo I've become very un-picky about job-hunting lately.

Translation? I was doing my due diligence and putting a face with a name and all that networking nonsense by bringing my resume and a cupcake to a local grocery store's bakery manager (I'm thinking I'm very clever at this point). I had already filled out an application online, this was just the proverbial icing on my bakery job cake. (I am also thinking I'm very clever just now at that bit of writing).

So, I march myself right up to the manager and introduce myself quite awkwardly.

Me: "Hi, I'm Jennie, I understand you know the Hennighausens."

Manger: (Response should go here)

Me: "Er, well, they are loyal patrons of this wonderful Kroger."

Manger: (Response should go here)

Me: (Clears throat...losing confidence) "Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I applied online to the position open in the bakery and wanted to drop off this cupcake while I introduced myself personally so you could put a face with the name."

Suddenly, physics turned its ugly - but hitherto even unnoticed - back against me. All that I know and understand about gravity and/or my own bodily functionality changed.

As I finished the word "name" a bit of spittle flew from my mouth and landed on my cheek/eye area. I say it was a "bit," but let the records show that it was enough for me to need to wipe it away (two strokes), and for her to look down awkwardly at the cupcake, which now had just lost all appeal entirely.

I stood there blankly for an eternal 2.3 seconds before I then spouted out,

"You don't have to eat that."

I'm afraid my ill-timed spasm of the mouth might have shut that door.

Oh well.

ONWARD!

grateful heart

In spending time with the Lord today, I was OVERWHELMED with how generous He has been through others to me.

I am so thankful for life here at 6918. I am thankful that I have a lovely space to call my own; a place to bake incessantly; a family to sit around the dinner table with; and laughs to be shared constantly.

I am so grateful for the help/advice/instruction from FLH on budgeting/finances. I am thankful to be learning principles of saving and of simplicity because of it.

I am so thankful to those who believe in me and who give generously to allow me to pursue counseling without incurring further debt.

I am so so thankful and humbled by friends who pray regularly, consistently for me in the secret places with our Heavenly Father.

I am thankful that my sweet brother and sister-in-law are generous with me even in their own need (because of which, I now have lovely, freezing, air conditioning in my car!!).

I am grateful for my job that is life-giving and FUN.

I am thankful to Suz and Sean and Corinne and John who gave computers to me!!!

I am thankful to the FLH and MGH who celebrate half-birthdays.

I am so so thankful for my health and the health of my family.

I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father continually reminds me that the lilies toil nor spin, but are arrayed more splendidly than Solomon. I am thankful that He wanted Mary to just sit as His feet.

I know that His gifts are more than physical, but I am SO THANKFUL for the ones that are.

today's page in my journal

good grief.
before I forget and have to do more dang character development,
I wanted to write a few things down.

This is what I know:

- everyone has a perspective, a background, a history, a frame of reference and it probably involves some amount of hurt or need or suffering that I couldn't understand.

-death to flesh hurts sometimes

- "His ways are higher." His thoughts are not my thoughts.

-His 'goodness' may not look like monetary or physical means.

- I have a roof over my head

- I can usuallly find something to be grateful for (or repent of)

- sanctification is not really a pretty process (at least for me)

for sister.

i made these for my sister for her 17th birthday. wow. she is such an adult. UGH.
they're little pins to decorate shirts, jackets, hats, bags. the white one with the band is a headband.
hopefully, she will love them.

because i love her.

happy birthday, sister.

"please see attachment. I am pleased to tell you that you are hired. please report to NC immediately for details. (chocolate provided). love, jordan"

sometimes when i feel a bit down...

I close my eyes and ask for His presence.

And usually, it feels like He puts His arm around me,
presses His cheek against mine, and says,
"It's ok, Lovey."

happy birthday FRED

(a few days late...)

I definitely want to take this post to honor one of my favorite senior citizens...
(And SC status is confirmed directly from Kroger. Kroger never lies.)

My top 5 favorite moments with F.L.H.

5. When I came over a few days before I moved in to the Hennighausen house, I knocked politely at the back door. Fred (and Mary!), however, merely cracked the door wide enough so I could see the huge grins on their faces and said,
"No."
Door shuts.
I laughed, then knocked louder, thinking my polite little knock wasn't sufficient to get their attention.
Door cracks. Smiling faces.
"Noooo."
Door shuts.
A light bulb finally goes off, and this time, without knocking, I walk straight in to find Fred and Mary standing ready with a hug and a
"YEAHHHH!!!"

They were teaching me how to come into the house (no knocking allowed).

I felt so welcomed.

****

4. When I found myself virtually jobless (again), I was standing in the kitchen telling FLH my news, near tears, and feeling very sorry for myself, and he simply responded,

"Wow. What a good heavenly Father who knew in advance this was going to happen and provided you this home as a safe place to land. What an adventure you are on."

I felt so inspired/humbled/grateful.

****

3. One word: "Combo-ing"

I felt so thankful.

****

2. When I came back to my little Rose Cottage to find a tiny little mini-flosser wedged into a tiny little nail hole at eye-level near my door.
(RUDE! And, warning: It will find you.)
It was a tiny little way to give a nod to hilarious inside jokes about people's idiosyncrasies.
I love that FLH can celebrate people with humor and respect.

I felt so light-hearted.

****

1. Not that there can be any one favorite thing about knowing FLH and having his influence in my life, but I am so grateful for how he listens so unselfishly, so intentionally.

Whether it's in a "FredSheet" budget meeting
(shudder),

or talking over things about boys,

or talking about life in the fast lane in the business world,

or talking about my Substitute-of-The-Year award
(self-appointed),

He listens in a way that makes you SWEAR he is interested in every word you say.

I always leave conversations feeling

HEARD,
UNDERSTOOD,
LOVED,
and
INSPIRED.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!!!!!


*****


"As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

march 2011

...is the next time I will purchase clothes. for one year i am going to (attempt to, at least) refrain from purchasing items to wear. it's been 3 months so far.

why?

many reasons.

One being "and why are you anxious about clothing? consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."

.....

Daddddd(s)

happy belated father's day!

Sunday was yet another reminder of how lucky I am to be raised under such
godly,
faithful,
consistent
father(s).

I guess I just needed extra amounts of good fathering, because I'm blessed with Dads who pray and raise me still.

(I'm 25 and need all the help I can get.)


STAN:I love that my Dad STILL gets up
EVERY
SINGLE
MORNING
before the crack of dawn is a twinkle in the universe's eyes
to pray for me,
for others,
for my future spouse (uh, since I was first born... no joke).

I love that I still have wonderful memories of playing all sorts of made up games (which, as I look back now, all had some kind of strength/aerobic element for him...haha...multi-tasking?) from:

GusGus (the tickle bug),

to the

"Honey, I've lost my children" game
(he pretends he can't see us, which resulted in three kids jumping around and pulling at him saying,
"BUT DAD!!! WE ARE RIGHT HERE!!??! CAN'T YOU SEE US!?!?!"),

to "Rough 'n Tumble",
the game where we got our aggression out by trying to tackle him repeatedly to the ground (side note: I was raised with two older brothers).

I love that I have lots of memories of him being just around, helping him in the yard, talking about not being able to date til I was 30....And I love that as I've gotten older, I've grown to love and respect him and his choices even more. He is a good man who walks in humility and joy. I have always said, and probably always will, that my Dad is ever FOR me. No matter where I am in life, he has my back. He is on my side.

(And he even sends me vitamins still.)

I love that he gives me weird glasses and pillows embroidered with his Stan-isms (which maybe aren't so eloquent, as it turns out....). I love that he loves to memorize the Word and always asks me, "What's the Book say?" He is SO solid.

I like how he strokes his mustache when he's thinking - though I hate that he's usually chewing a gross cigar. I love that claps loud and big during worship, brings his anointing oil every where he goes, but still claims he's not charismatic.


FRED:Since I've moved in with Fred and Mary, I've gotten to become a part of a family with a completely different dynamic.

Fred is a Dad who gives of himself - who dies to himself - on an
EVERY
DAY
basis.

I've really never seen anything like it.
I myself (though just a recently inaugurated daughter) have been the recipient of many 'Dad' things, from a repaired A/C (amazing) to a half-birthday gift for school (!!!), to a father's ever-godly advice and encouragement.

One of my favorite things about claiming Fred as a father now is that every conversation I leave, no matter what we're talking about, I go away feeling like this girl:

("I like my hair! I like my hair cuts! I. Like.My.Whole.House!" *CLAP*)

Conversations with Fred make me feel like I can do ANYTHING.
Really. I can not only tackle huge, annoying obstacles of being yet-again jobless, but I can tackle them while imagining life as an exciting adventure that the Lord is taking me on.

I also can't say enough about how I respect the insatiability of his sweet tooth, his love for good books, and the perfect handwriting gene that he most obviously passed on to Anne. (Argh!! I shake my fist at the sky in crazed jealousy!) I loved that in college, before I even knew him as well as I did now, Anne and I would always pause as we considered doing something slightly un-Fred (like wondering whether or not we should speed or use a huge knife as scissors) and we would always stop because, well, "Fred just knows." We believed very strongly that Fred had direct downloads from God about our goings on in Waco, TX (180 miles away) and have proof to that point.

His patience and love for his family is this miraculous, unending fount that comes surely only from his time with His Lord, and I am so privileged to be a part of this home!

(And his Breakfast-in-a-Cup is a miracle in itself.)

What can I say? I am a 25-year-old with a penchant for excess-raising?

word to my mother(s)

In gearing up for Mother's Day, I realized that I had the very distinct privilege of honoring not only my mother, but lots of other moms who have been mommas to me.

Really, I should be one of the more well-rounded individuals I know with all this extra mothering. Either that, or I just needed a lot of extra help.

Momma Meyer

Mrs. Meyer is whose house I partly lived in from 7th grade until the present. Her house is the one where I can walk into without knocking (I love that). I love that she has SUCH patience. She works herself to the bone to serve and bless her family. I love her love for old musicals and for deep friendships. She has taught me much about faithfulness in the little things. I love that she teases me and asks me about boys. She gives GREAT hugs. I love how she thinks of me as one of her own, and I even have a "thinking of you" bird to match the one in her house. I love how she considers people at all times. She is always poised, but can DEFINITELY cut loose (uh...baking soda and water anyone?)

She has given me so much KINDNESS.

Marrrryyyy

Oh, dearest M. Since moving to Dallas, the Lord saw fit to provide a safe place for me to land while going to Seminary and working part time. Mary didn't hesitate one second when offering me a place when finances were getting thin. When I had dinner with Mary and Mr. Fred one night while we were talking things over, she exclaimed, "Where's your bags!?" I loved the open invitation. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when she dances. Since being here, and since knowing her through my college years, I have learned many practical useful things, as well as a few completely non-useful, but wonderful things (as follows):
1. How to draw a map properly (N at the top of the paper).
2. How to clean a sponge when it gets that dingy smell (put in the microwave for 20 seconds with a little bit of bleach on it).
3. How to tell if food is spoiled (she has an incredible sense).
4. How to make someone feel loved when they've tried their best even when it's failed terribly.
5. How to CELEBRATE with someone!
6. How to laugh and enjoy the little, ridiculous things in life (uh, SNL, anyone??).
7. How to confess minor discrepancies in a way to make the other people laugh.

She has given me so much JOY.

Mom

My mom is a weird lady. A lot of people tell me that's where I get it from (and though I pretend to hate it, I secretly love it). She taught me how to laugh at myself when you don't feel like laughing. She taught me how to care for other people fully and without thought to yourself. She taught me how to give. I love her love for great literature and how we both think speed limits are mostly just suggestions. She taught me to cook. She taught me to persevere. She's a weird bird, but I love her to death (even when she puts her undies on wrong). I love that one time when we were talking on the phone, she dropped the phone, put it back to her ear and then started screaming, "Jennie!! Jennie!? OH MY GOSH I'M GOING DEAF I CAN'T HEAR YOU SUDDENLY!", not realizing that she had put the wrong side of the phone to her ear. I love/hate the fact that she speaks in terribly broken Spanish to the people at Chipotle (But ONLY at Chipotle???). I love that reads the Bible through every year. I love how she hears from God.

She has given me LIFE.

Thank you Jesus for these women. I pray that these years of their life would be filled with love, joy, peace, patience and kindness from those they loved SO well.

Thank you for the privilege I've had to be raised under them.

Amen.

my beloved Friend

In celebration of my dearest, most wonderful,
hilarious, kind, adventurous, precious

F*R*I*E*N*D

on her 25th birthday,
I am writing a "Top 10 Moments with AEH" post.


10. Sitting across from AEH and FH at Bush's Chicken in Waco after she had moved in to the apt and declaring to FH,
"We're practically the same person."
And then spending the next lovely years figuring out how much of a reality that was.

9. Coming home from Europe at 1 AM jet lagged and exhausted, and STILL finding myself staying up until 4 AM with AEH baking and catching up and pondering why we decided to spend that semester apart.

8. Taking Christian Hermeneutics and Racquetball together senior year at Baylor.
She hit me with her racket at least once a class.
And I'm sorry I ever suggested we take the Hermeneutics class.

("IT'S IMPORTANT TO LOOK HOT! IT'S IMPORTANT TO WEAR BIKINIS!")

7. When we first got "real jobs" after college where our only survival tactic was to e-mail back and forth to discuss how bad of a choice that was.
(And then planning our inevitable delay of adulthood via YWAM...)

See subject line and message: (also note misspelled name from corporate. wonk)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bower, Jenny
Date: Wed, Sep 26, 2007 at 3:52 PM
Subject: RE: blah blah blahblah wednesdayblah blahblah blah
To: Anne Hennighausen



Hahaha true that.
8 minutes


Jennie Bower

6. YWAM in general.
Beaches. Kona coffee. Confession and repentance. Dried mangos.
bliss.

5. Whatever point it was that we decided to start calling each other "Friend."
(Capital because it is "THE" friend)

4. Our talk of the joint condo when we are married to our respective husbands....and how the condo will promise to unite us...till we are old and gray...but still fun and like to snorkel.

3. The moment captured below.
Proving the fact that whenever we talk/hang out/mention one another,
there is inevitable laughing with hysteria.
Without. Fail.
She is probably the funniest person I know.

2. Rebukes
(both ways) (but mostly my way)
How we discussed that some girl forebodingly told us we would not leave YWAM as friends, because of hard it is spiritually and emotionally.

AND HOW WE SHOWED HER WHO IS BOSS,
because we came away from those months with a deeper, truer, richer relationship with the Lord and with each other based on total honesty, vulnerability and brokenness.


1. How she told me she was going back to YWAM,
leaving the comfort of her home, friends and growing family,
because of the boldness and strength of her relationship with Jesus,
and because she is too adventurous to settle for anything less than
AMAZING.






Dear AEH:

"Whatever it is souls are made of,
yours and mine are the same"

love,

Friend

Miss Hazelyn

So, one of the 12.2 jobs that I have currently puts me in direct contact with very old people. And by very old, I do mean nonagenarians.

I met Hazelyn one day during breakfast (It was "Hazeline," but she changed it when she went to college). She is a crinkly, tiny black woman with huge glasses that take up most her face and some of her forehead.

She still has noble cheeks.

She wears her hair combed back, in a bun. It's mostly white, but there are still stubborn gray and black streaks around her temples. She moves slowly, and I usually have to use all my strength to help her when she wants to stand up.

Today, I helped her take a worn book down from the bookshelf so she could read up on her husband's liver condition. She wanted to see how likely it would be that he would need to be on dialysis. He's 14 years her senior, is now debilitated with Alzheimer's, and lives in a home in Houston.

She grew up in the deep south, segregated but not poor. Her slow, southern drawl gives her heritage away especially when she transitions from one subject to the next (or rather, when she keeps trying to get herself back on the original subject at hand) with her "anyyyyywaaays" expression.

One of her first jobs was working as a teacher, in a school where she was the only black woman. The principal there, a white male, made sure that she was always backed by the administration, even when white students' parents would complain that she would steal things from the white students. She was 23.

She is now 78 and lives lives in a country where a black man is president. Her home now is apart from her husband, her children, and she has a flat screen that she never uses. She writes notes down on any available piece of paper in an attempt to remember things she means to look up later, or people she encounters, but usually loses them shortly after. She keeps a daily journal. Today, she had me print my name and address for her "just to have on hand."

Sometimes as I sit listening to her as she travels from thought to thought, I go between watching her and her slow, deliberate movements, and looking at the portrait painted of her and her husband, he standing with his arm on her shoulder, she seated in a leather chair.

And sometimes, the things she talks about seem like a least a million years ago.

Funnies

Favorite quotes from life here with F&M:

1. "Jennie is the new Anne." (M)

2. "What an adventure you are on." (F & his amazing ability to have a godly perspective)

3. "Your cooking makes me think we are on an episode of 'Touched by an Angel.'" (F)

4. "Mary has something to confess to you.." (F when M has had a taste of something with my name on it in the fridge)

5. "Don't make sing!" (M said in a wonderfully dramatic accent)

Found

"But I think you are already in the meshes of the net! The Holy Spirit is after you. I doubt if you'll get away!"
- CS Lewis


"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the Sons of God."
- Romans 8:19

Praise Him for new sons.

notes on LOST, life

Eek. Ok, so Richard got a "gift" when Jacob touched him. (Woot. See LOST post earlier.) Either this gift was eternal life, or life unharmed until the island is safe, or until there's a suitable candidate selected. Either way...interesting. I also think that though smoke-monster-as-Locke said dismissively that Jacob "just had a thing with numbers," the infamous number sequence has something to do with the candidates' age when Jacob touched them. OR, it has to do with the number of times they get the offer to be a candidate? Hmm. However, the fact that smoke-monster-Locke regarded it as so unimportant tells me it is probably vital to some element of Jacob's role.

Also, of note:

1. There were two *noticeable* close ups of fairly bland shots (a) Ben looking at the principal's name plate and (b) wait, i forget it at the moment...that usually mean they have some sort of significance to the plot later on. I'm going to watch for those....

2. They said there were "6 candidates left." Sooo, the six are? Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sawyer?, Sun, Jin. Iffy list...considering Sawyer may have already defected the other side. However, maybe "Sun and Jin" are considered one...leaving room for Ben. **ALSO NOTE: This episode was my favorite of the season. I was so worried they were just going to kill Ben off as a common prisoner. But that twist was so unexpected and redeeming: "I'll have you." Bless. I could cry now. HA.

3. A few episodes back there was a kid running through the jungle when Sawyer was following Locke. Was this supposed to be Jacob? And why the HECK were his wrists slit? Scccarrrry.

4. Finally, Elba. Ben writing it on the board in huge capital letters may have been a little too blatant on the part of the writers for it to actually hold value, BUT, Locke has been repeating his mantra of his desire to just get off the island...but not having any power? Interesssssting.

General thoughts on life:

If you are over the age of 10, leggings are NOT a a suitable substitute for pants.

His

Sunday, my pastor spoke on our bodies as the Tabernacle of God, His dwelling place.
We are holy, set apart, a royal priesthood, kingdoms and priests unto God.

And I don't know what it is, but that truth
washed like waves over me. Over and over:

You are my Tabernacle. You are where I make my Dwelling Place.

I mean, the Creator of the Universe tore the veil that we may have inexhaustible access to Him - because He is in and through us.

I guess whenever I hear those verses from Song of Solomon, I know they are sweet and loving and all that, but it is being sealed on my heart that He is mine, because I am His. I am made beautiful and set apart because He has made His dwelling in me.

"But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed.
The Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are begin transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another" (II Corinthians 3:17-18).


Hallelujah.

There is freedom not only FROM,

but freedom UNTO

None of this is really new. Nothing new under the sun, after all. But still. Whenever I can just spend time sitting before him, I feel like I am reminded over and over that

I
have
tasted
and
seen,
and
I
have
been
ruined.

There is something that shifts in you when you know that you are MADE for Him, for his presence, for His nearness.

Life with Frary (Fred & Mary)

The following is a top 17 list of things I love about living at 6918:

17. Mrs. Hennig's reaction to anything exciting/surprising. I want to fall on the floor laughing at how great it is to watch/experience.
16. Mr. Hennig's secret chocolate stash that allows a constant/steady flow of chocolate things into my mouth.
15. Christmas music playing in March.
14. Late night hours of YouTube and SNL highlights ("Sorry").
13. Endless supplies of it-will-make-your-car-run coffee.
12. A continual track of AEH via two additional very-informed sources as well as daily viewing of a digital picture frame that has pictures of aforementioned person's travels that I've NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
11. Being a Dave Ramsey convert.
10. The lovely walkway to the main house that now has potted plants and a fountain. *Yes, a fountain thanks to Father Fred.
9. The fact that Mother Mary and I have the exact same schedule: School, Work, Eat, Bake, Study, Repeat. And also that we buy the same random off-brand stuff from the grocery store. Kroger brand instant oats, anyone?
8. The inevitable recording of Mother Mary signing the lyrics of a Michael Jackson song. Complete with dance moves.
7. The convenience of having the answer I REALLY want from one of the two parties in the house.
6. Becoming a night owl.
5. A guaranteed hug when met by either parent at any time of day.
4. In-house handyman.
3. MH's various and sundry accents that surface at random occurrences.
2. New recipes and cooking for three.
1. Being praised continually for being such a wonderful person (ie: emptying the dishwasher).

Thank you Jesus for Mr. and Mrs. Hennig.
What a gift.

stream of conciousness

First off,
I need to talk to someone about LOST.

1. Are we beginning to see the resemblances between "our" LOSTies and those others we were so afraid of? (ie: Rousseau and Claire; Ben and Hurley??) Suggestive maybe of a cycling out of the Losties for the Others and having the show in an endless cycle like we imagined?

2. Where the h is Des???????????? I mean, c'mon.

3. SAYID!? WTF? Since the beginning of the show, only a few things were ever really "certain," one being that Sayid was always right. (Feel free to fact check this one). NoW WhAT dO We Do!?

4. And I have to say, though I'm excited about this season and finally figuring out where the heck is up in the show, this season has been....weird? I mean, what's with the token Asian man of mystery in in the temple....who used to work at a bank. His character is so cliche I got bored even writing that. *But, also note: Reasons why Jacob may have known Korean when he visited Jin and Sun on their wedding day? *

5. Also, have we noticed how Jacob touches everyone when he visits them in the real world? Maybe insignificant, but ....nonetheless. And while we're on Jacob, his mysterious nemesis - could he be an Esau? I'm still holding out that this will have some Biblical allegory vs. the weird Egyptian theme.


That's one thing.
The other is I think I'm having an allergic reaction to Penicillin. Who knew? Also, my little Rose Cottage is looking very cute. However, I lack any and all technology to show anyone this. I'll be working on that. I painted my bathroom. I even taped the edges. But, while I almost died trying to paint a bathroom through a huffing overdose and using questionable objects to lengthen my reach, the stupid edges are still crooked and I painted half the ceiling. Dangggggggitttttt. Also, midterms next week. I can hardly believe that. Good thing I'm a ninja. Other things to note: budgeting is HARD. My days of traveling to beloved Target for dental floss and winding up with $50 of cute clothes and other moodsdore are over. That's sad. But, I'm a grown up. That's what we do. We SAVE. Also, taxes. Taxes. I've also decided that while I love the flexibility and adventure that subbing brings (First grader to me: "My talking parrot says that it's going to be next Sunday" --- ??? ---- ), I need a more substantial income. Thus, selling my liver on the black market has become more of an option. Or, selling my soul and working at some place like Nordstrom where ridiculous sums of money are spent on ridiculous things that I may have a ridiculous commission has become more of a viable option. (Question: How confident are you that you can convince someone to buy something that they didn't intend to buy?. Answer: What the h?) Can't i just be paid to make my house look pretty? Because that's what I do until stupid hours of the night. I hang things and buy clocks. (*Note: Clocks NOT in budget*) Also, I make questionable decisions and hate things like: cold weather, getting up early, garrulous professors, the RADIO. UGH I HATE THE RADIO. Today, I had a 10 minute drive with the radio on and wanted to KILL PEOPLE because the stupid ads were so annoying loud and abrasive. Also, I got lost in freakin' Richardson/Garland looking for a post office and a Bank of America. Apparently, Richardson/Garland proper has neither. I gave up after 30 mins of looking. Why the h don't i have a gps again? I mean, those things were made for me. Here's to old and new friends. Here's to drinking coffee that could make my car run. Here's to Sister coming for a visit. Here's to Dixie at the old people's home. I miss playing my violin and being around musicians. Here's to RANDOM people showing up in my dream. Just walking around.

Here's to dinners with Fred and Mary, or Frary, or Frad and Lolly. Or Mr. and Mrs. Hennig. Those are lovely. They are a welcomed home.

Meet me on the other side.


Also. Whoa: have I EVER read this passage?
²⁰If with Christ^(A) you died to the^(B) elemental spirits of the world,^(C) why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— ^21(D) "Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch" ²²(^(E) referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to^(F) human precepts and teachings? ²³These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in^(G) promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are^(H) of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

He has come for FREEDOM.

yep.

aweeeeeeeesome

the God of all Comfort

For my friends who are grieving, and for my own ears as well:

I hear You say,

“My love is over. It’s underneath.
It’s inside. It’s in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel.
The times that you question, ‘Is this for real? ‘
The times you’re broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it’s underneath.
It’s inside, it’s in between.
These times you’re healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you’re falling from grace.
The times you’re hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I’m there through your heartache.
I’m there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow’r alone.
I don’t care where you fall, where you have been.
I’ll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends.”



Hallelujah.

yep.

Thanks, Katie Apple.

also new in 2010....

...me, budgeting.

Anne's dad has recently offered to help me organize my finances better. Ha. (...or at all? Don't tell Fred!) Annnddddddddd before we meet to discuss my own personal FredSheet in order to have my finances in tip top shape for the days of graduate school ahead, I have done some preparing myself.

By

DeSTRoyING mY CrEDit CaRD. Sigh. I'm not really a credit card "user" per se. I usually just use it if it's no interest/no fees for a certain amount of months, then pay it off before the interest starts. HOWEVER. Circumstances being as they are (I am broke), I've had to make sure to do the grown up thing and (a) pay off the remaining balance before I am broke-er and (b) take back this beloved item that I was hoping would go on sale (again) in order to re buy it cheaper. (Does this make me seem crazy? Maybe). SO. I decided to take it back all together.

Sigh. Lots of emotional pep talking to get me to go through with the act of this treasure being sent back. Oh the colors! Oh the vintage look and feel!?


HOWEVER. 2010 is a new year. It is a new year for lots of firsts. New school. New state. New responsibilities. And so, I wanted to get rid of the card in order to get rid of the temptation to buy before I have the means to pay. If I want it; I can save for it.

I feel like this emotional fortitude is going to be great for my skin.

A Little Artsy

So, one of the true delights of my life is working at A Little Artsy with Casey Wiegand. Not only is she one of the most gracious and welcoming people I have ever come across, but the job is amazing. I love the ridiculousness of the kids and their amazing creative brains.

If you are friends with Casey & Chris, or would just like to spread the love of A Little Artsy located in Snider Plaza in Dallas, please feel free to copy this HTML into your java script code (Blogspot users: Click "Add a Gadget", "HTML code" in your Layout section and copy and paste the code below) to have a button for your blog:

<a href="http://www.alittleartsy.com/" ><img src="http://i597.photobucket.com/albums/tt52/JennieCBower/logo-1.jpg"/></a>

considering

Welp.

So, I interviewed for a job this week that I thought would be perfect for me. Like, literally. I didn't even have to verbally manipulate my "skill set" to make it sound like I had experience for the job I was applying to. I mean, I have it. AND I could say with good, clear conscience that "yes, I would love to do this." ( I mean, working at an agricultural credit bank....I might have said those words with my fingers crossed?)

But, I didn't get it. And I'm feeling torn. I mean, part of me (the very realistic, sensible part) is so alarmingly UNsurprised that it didn't happen. Great jobs are just hard to come by, apparently, unless you know someone/are related to them (thank you, Stan Bower).

But the other part feels pretty disillusioned still by the fact that I feel like I would have been so perfect for this job. I have the experience; I have the skills. And I would feel like my work in the day-to-day things actually mattered to someone.

So there I am: Somewhere in the middle between feeling unsurprised and more-than-slightly pessimistic and feeling terribly let down at how weird/unpredictable life is.

HOWEVER.

This is where I remember that the friggin' Creator of the UNIVERSE (..."universe" spoken in aforementioned "2010" space agey-voice....) is actually on my side.

On.
My.
Side.

Lalalala

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they neither toil nor spin. Yet even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these...."

so this is the new year

The year in pictures....



I turned 25. Yikes.


Visited Perfect-ville. I mean, Pella, IA in a trip back in time.


Grand Canyon-ing with the sister.


Tried (and mostly failed) to learn to surf in San Diego.

Moved to Dallas.

Of note for 2009: I actually drove across America. Drove. Across. From North Carolina to San Diego. So. That's interesting I guess. My favorite view had to have been the Grand Canyon. So weird. It is essentially just a big hole in the ground, but it manages to be breath-taking.

The trip across the good U.S. of A did, however, also involve a lot of this:



And now for resolutionssssss. Well, in reality, for me, they only last a good six months. See here.

Scratch that, I'm still "pretty" good about Diet Cokes (the possible source of brain shrinking). I only have them a couple of times a week. Which isn't as good as my resolution (no diet cokes whatsoever), but is a step up from 2008 (a diet coke every day), and a step in between the slacking off of 2009's resolution (diet cokes only on the weekends). All that nonsense just to say: I'm average about resolutions.

But I actually failed miserably at using 2009 to read the Bible from cover to cover. And flossing. Oops. Well, maybe not entirely true, after my multi-hundred dollar visit to the dentist (*** me giving the bird to powers behind the lack of health/dental insurance in my life ***) , I got to flossing again. And someone else is going to have to tell me how I fared about the speaking more kindly resolution. Although, I know I have NOT been speaking kindly to Dallas drivers on I-75 (jerks).

I can definitely say I have been painfully and brutally honest in general about my life/feelings. Annnnnnnnnnnnd there is more than one person out there that can testify to that.

However! 2010 is a new year, and not just a new year that is starting to sound space-agey. It is a new year for ideals that are mostly ignored entirely by mid-February.

And my resolutes are:

Hmm....Well, I need to give this some thought. After all, if I'm going to change something entirely about my life for 2010 ("2010" said in creepy, spacey-echo effect), I'm going to have to give it more than 2.4 seconds of thought.

I'll keep you posted, world.