Monday, April 20, 2009


With tax day just last week, there is a need to celebrate...Jordan's birthday. I love how a few of my friends (aka: you, anne) have chosen to really honor someone on a day that is blogging about them. SO.

Today is for Jordan.

Jordan is, as I have always said, one of the kindest people I know. Generally, his first inclination is to think, want, work for, look for the best of someone else. Sure, he hates on the generally-unstable charismatic crowd, and those are are intentionally, insatiably mean (st. louis drivers), but I think at the bottom of who Jordan is, he is waiting to think the best of them. I don't know why his kindness has always struck me, but it's like that song, something about the power of beauty in a wicked world. And that's what Jordan's kindness is -- it's like this beautiful, peaceful thing in the midst of a wicked and perverse generation (Thank you, Moses). And when all my kindness and gentleness has begun to wear away, his seems an unending fount.

Then there's his general ridiculousness. Ha. One of my favorite things about him at YWAM was that he and Anne and I had this perfect understanding about little hilarities that flew over most people's heads (i.e.: 4-hour Loren sessions or 8 years of protocol). While Anne and I would be trying desperately to hold in our laughter at our own depravity in comparison to sweet confessions of innocent little Korean girls who were broken of their having stolen Hello Kitty pencils when they were 4, Jordan's playful eyes would say a million different things, and then I was laughing in the middle of a very poignant moment.

I think his humor is delightful. It's like a general agreement that important things should never be taken too seriously, and ridiculous things (like giraffes) should be taken very seriously. He has flip-flopped a world of ghastly mistaken priorities, and so, with him, my world seems balanced.

As I've gotten to know jordan -- past all the pretend things that we love to pretend -- I have found that his pretend isn't really pretending at all. Sure, he pretends he's not afraid of Stan (my Dad), but he doesn't pretend to care or to confess or to really give. All those things to him are true and real.

And one of my very favorite things about him is that he isn't afraid. He isn't afraid of praying against huge territorial entities in the spiritual world (ahem); he isn't afraid of showing me who he is; he isn't afraid of leaving all his comforts (again and again) for a passion in his heart for the passions of His heart. He has intentionally put himself at unease to fulfill the will of God. He's shared his doubts and his frustrations, but I feel he has settled a long time ago that he would be at peace with who God is and where God called him.


"In fact, everyone who has left his homes, brothers, sisters, father, mother, children, or fields because of my name will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."
Matthew 19:29

happy birthday, jordan. you are an old man.

young, spring chicken

Monday, April 6, 2009

jesus saves...and so does LOTR

Sigh. At my desk on a snowy Monday morning. Lord of the Rings soundtrack in my ear buds saves me.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

a thankful heart prepares the way

Though our mouths were full of song as the sea,and our tongues of exultation as the multitude of its waves,and our lips of praise as the wide-extended firmament;though our eyes shone with light like the sun and the moon,and our hands were spread forth like the eagles of heaven,and our feet were swift as hinds,
we should still be unable to thank thee and bless thy name,
O Lord our God and God of our fathers, for one thousandth or one ten thousandth part of the bounties which thou has bestowed upon our fathers and upon us.
- Hebrew Prayer
For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song.
Isaiah 51:3
Oh man. I think I just did this "thankful" post at Thanksgiving, but here it comes again.
I am so thankful for a family that loves and cares for me (and has not yet kicked me out....); for a best Friend who loves at all times, whose heart is wild and sweet, and whose adventures I can now live through vicariously, for my friend and love, Jordan, who has taught me the meaning of kindess and who likes me when I don't have make up on; for my sweet Katie Apple, who has taught me about His faithfulness and providence; for my sister who remains continually on my side; for my job(s); for my health; for my sisters-in-law who are total opposites but who I love the same; for my brothers, with whom I have an understanding that I could never explain; for faithful friends who pray for me without my knowing; and lastly, for chocolate chip cookies.
I love those damn things.