Ho Ho Ho-loha

Since we are moving in (less than) two weeks (to an undetermined location - Mom's: Don't freak out!), and because we had very little room in the suitcases we brought over from the mainland for the year, the Christmas decor at the Kologe house is...

...in progress.

Meanwhile, enjoy a limerick on the Kologe Christmas Decor.

Dear friends, like Eunice chops off the top,
Like Mr. Willowby's Christmas Tree she lopped it right off!
So we now we have a homemade wreath with real, green prawns!
From friends who can spare, we now have decor that won't make you yawn. (?)
It hangs from the door with such tender care,

Who knew a hanger and some string keeps it there!?

The tree inside needs some special attention,
And a very Charlie Brown Tree gets honorable mention.

Don't forget Santa (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
He holds up our stockings without a grudge.

He won't be here long, in a blink he'll gone!
But for now, and before he takes flight,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

I haven't...

...given up on this blog entirely. I love it so.
But I think I will be updating OUR blog a bit more.

Check it here.

no words

So much has been happening this last six weeks (moving, packing, driving to STL, Wedding Week, getting married, honeymoonin', moving to Hawaii, starting work in Hawaii...) that I have severely neglected a few things, namely, thanks.

I wanted to take this blog post
to shout out my loving, humbled, gracious thanks to the dear, dear Hennighausens.

What would I have done? Seriously. WHAT would I have done without dear Fred and Mary (Frary, if you will) in my life this past year and a half? We kept saying as the days drew near for my departure that it felt like our time went by so quickly. I'm hoping that their expressions weren't just casual pleasantries, because I felt the SAME way.

It feels like yesterday when Mary was busy whipping me up some Jell-O on my second day there because of an impending - yet ultimately not occurring - root canal. And it feels like merely last week that they were schooling me in how to properly enter the Hennighausen home (no knocking allowed).

AH.

SIGH.

I am making myself sad with this thankful post.

Ok, onto lighter times. Some of my ABSOLUTE.HANDS.DOWN. favorite moments with these two include (but are not limited to) the following:

1. Becoming Beli-bers (in 3D), with Fred and Mary (and her seated-dance moves).
2. Enjoying my VERY FIRST Christmas Eve breakfast and white elephant gift exchange. Thank you, Pea, for the more-than-life-sized picture of some a '78 Mavs player. Thank you, Hennighausens for letting me in on the tradition.
3. EATING Mary's delicious food/ cakes for birthdays, holidays....fridays, justbecausedays.
4. Fooling Fred and Mary when Anne came home a few days early from Track. Buahahah. The 1.2 seconds of confusion when she walked in the door was priceless. ("What!? Jennie! Did you know!? You KNEW! You're so bad!")
5. Enjoying (though not eating...) a chocolate covered Spam moose head (thank you, Kroger), because I won a bet with Fred.
6. Becoming privy to many secrets of 6918 which I will always hold close to my chest. *** Unless the public announcement of which is too hilarious to avoid***
7. "Hello there, girl!" A daily Fred greeting. And "Jennnnieeeeeee," (spoken like "Gilly") whenever I may have become mischievous with above aforementioned 6918 family secrets.
8. When Fred was silly enough to leave Mary and I during finals. There may have been an incident involving a more-than-the-usual apportioned lot of chocolate. Eek.
9. Finding Santa at my wedding. They said it might happen so I couldn't possibly hold it against them, now can I?
10. The many times Fred had to sit patiently with me and explain EVERY.TIME how to work a Fredsheet. (A monthly budget sheet made by FLH). Specifically though, the very first time. I arranged my budget sheet and had to sheepishly worked in a bit of savings into my monthly income to work with for the month's expenses. FLH merely laughed and said, "Jennieeeeee. That's not right." He was so kind never to sit me in the corner with a dunce cap, and was always able to gently explain the process of "not spending more than you make." I think it FINALLY took hold...nearly 9 months later when I began to tackle my SNOWBALL OF DEBT! WOOT!

I really have to recount the reasons/ways I am thankful and CHANGED because of their gentle kindnesses.

1. I believe they taught me about listening. (Yes, still a work in progress...)
But FRED is possibly THE best listener EVER. I'm serious. If you're having a bad day, and just need a good ear, he's there to ask about it. He's there to inquire about it. He is legitimately interested in the way you cook your coffee brownies and in how your family does birthdays and how you make your bed. He is genuinely, amazingly, humble in a way that you literally FEEL cared for by the way he listens. I strive to learn this trait. It seriously is something that I've taken note of and said to myself, "Now that is something that is of solid, goldy character. I must have it." The hard part is, as it were, to actually become a good listener. It is hard. It takes selflessnesss. It takes patience. It takes....listening. Lord, let me carry that with me.

2. They taught me about laughing.
I LOVED the way we laughed and related over many, many delicious dinners together. Whether we were laughing brainlessly over Kristin Wiig's latest skit on SNL, or at the latest blooper one of us experienced that day, we LAUGHED a lot. It seriously brought me so much joy, lifted so much of "life" off of me to come home to a wonderful home cooked meal and a lovely laugh that made my sides hurt. I think there's something amazingly special about laughing with people. It draws you together. It brings you in tighter. It muffles the noise of life outside. I think Jesus must have shared amazing laughs with his peeps - it feels that holy.

3. They taught me about selflessness.
Mary and Fred were parents to the nth degree. They were people who did life in a way that allowed their children to flourish and succeed and fail and triumph with grace and gentleness. Once, Fred told Jordan that their best advice for parenting was that if what it took to raise a child was the size of a table, and the parents' part was the size of a thumbprint on that table, that they did their very best to "take that thumbprint very seriously."
And it shows. It shows in the way they've lived selflessly. Mary reads to her aging Dad. Fred is always on call for his girls. Mary returns your laundry to you with all the holes patched up and the clothes ironed and folded. How on earth do I gain this kind of attitude?
Not quite sure, but I'm aware the learning curve for sure.

4. They taught me about generosity.
Seriously. So, so very generous. In a place of great need, they literally opened their home to me. I KNOW that this is not easy. I KNOW that it can come as an inconvenience to welcome in someone to your home and say, "What is ours is yours." But they did. And I never once felt not a part of the family. Including the time when Fred and I had to only mildly-successfully hold a garage sale. My shift was the first. Never once did they ask for anything in return for their generous gift of a spacious place for me to hang my hat, and always was there a little prizey for me during Easter, Christmas, birthdays...
Eek. I'm tearing up.... onto the next....

5. They taught me about.... what to call it? I'm not sure there's really words for it. I mean, so great is what they gave me. They held me in, held me close. They gave me laughter - or well, we SHARED laughter. We shared meals. We shared set backs. We shared an ongoing joke about a transient Christmas decoration. And I guess, if I could put words to it, it seems they taught me about godly LOVE.

Yes, that's it.

I am so grateful for where I came from, and how I came a Christian home. But, still growing up, I find there are SO many people that continue to pour into your life even after the "growing up years." And I am thankful for the life that Fred and Mary poured into me. I am thankful how they called out godly integrity in Jordan and I as we dated and were engaged in my time at 6918 ("No being home alone with boys of a boyfriend persuasion.")

I think that they are missionaries in their own right. They have served faithfully at their home church; they've invested deeply into the lives of their children; they've given unselfishly and ceaselessly to those who needed it.
They have LIVED out the Gospel by being HIS hands and feet.
(And I don't even feel dorky using that reference because of how true it is!)

May it be multiplied back to them in life, love, and laughter.

for my dear aeh

I love birthday posts. They give me the extraordinary opportunity to GUSH unabashedly about friends and family who give my life so much meaning. And this one is for Annie.

Oh, Anne.

I know for certain our friendship was 'ordained' or something, since the first thoughts I had about you were for sure divinely appointed.

flashback: She and I were in the same sorority, but she had studied abroad the first semester and so we didn't really know each other that well. She was back in the States, and back at school, and I introduced myself to her and tried to be nice (Some times, sorority life tried me so. It was certainly an effort to be outgoing sometimes...sorry President Frita). ANYWAYS, I smiled at her and the thought ran across my mind: You should be kind to her. Strange, I know, especially because I'm always nice. (Jk) But I do remember thinking she had a friendly smile. Little did I know she was one of the KINDEST, most gracious, generous, HILARIOUS and wonderful people in the universe, and I would be lucky enough to call her best Friend in the near future. And so we began a journey into a friendship that is certainly God ordained. Why do I say "God ordained" like we ended up sharing kidneys or something? Well, only because I feel like God has used her in my life to

challenge,
strengthen,
encourage,
sharpen,
refine,
teach,
and of course,
make me laugh until my sides bust.

From living hilarious, awkward and Arrow-worthy adventures of college, to exploring post-college life through YWAM, to parting ways as "adult life" took us different directions, to me refusing to part ways and moving into her parent's back house,

I can only say that I am so grateful to be a part of her life.

And so, to celebrate, I've put together a brief list of the things I've learned because of AEH:

1. How to not say the first thing that comes to my mind (Priceless)
2. How to say the things that come to my mind in a more loving way (Priceless)
3. How important it is to check on baked goods 60 seconds after they are placed in the oven (No charge?)
4. How to create lovely things out of scraps of paper from Michael's (Approx. $5.99)
5. How to make someone feel so LOVED and CELEBRATED during Birthday Week (One Million Dollars)
6. How to peruse the world wide web and find things like wedding contest entries and great wedding hair (Priceless)
7. How to lay down your life for a friend and for the least of these (Eternal pricelessness)
8. How to confront lovingly (Owie. No charge)
9. How to pack all sorts of important and necessary things into a bag over and over again (No monetary value)
10. How to manage to listen to things going on in another's life when your life is equally as nuts (seriously priceless)

It does seem as if I could never repay her (or God) for her in my life. What to do, what to do... I guess that means I just enjoy it? Just enjoy the crazy joy to know someone who you can be SO FULLY yourself. I can be totally terrible, selfish, uncouth and sarcastic and she will only laugh at me like that's not REALLY who I am. I can be totally unselfish, giving, kind, considerate, gracious, and holy, and she will be there to encourage the crud out of those behaviors. She's like the best behavioral therapist and friend all rolled into one!

And that's why I feel like our relationship is God-ordained. It's with her like it is with Jordan, so freeing and yet still so binding to our Jesus' side.

One day, Annie, I aspire to be just like you. I can't wait to see where your adventures bring you next. And I can't wait for you to move into the Duplex and for the next part of our adventure together to begin.

LIKE TEN T-REXES, FRIEND!

love,

me

jmk

happy birthday, love.
this is your birthday post.
these are the reasons (among MILLIONS)
that I am so glad to be marrying you.

YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE
hello.
we met in hawaii.
where you had become the staff leader for
youth with a mission
after traveling and serving with them
in Perth and India
as a result of
your traveling with IV to
Thailand.
hello.
let's go.

YOUR SENSE OF PURPOSE
yes.
you were perfectly comfortable selling
practically your life's worth of possessions
to move toward simplicity
and
you've served with IV
and invested in so many
college students' lives
that i know
your mansion in heaven
will be filled
with beautiful markers
of the souls
you encouraged to find their way there

YOUR COMMITMENT TO HILARITY
it is. unmatched.
you make me laugh
you laugh at me
you laugh by yourself
you laugh when you're not supposed to
(that's my favorite)
your humor
is
my
favorite

YOUR UNWAVERING KINDNESS
is why
we
are
still
together
i still have never met
someone as kind as you

YOUR INTEGRITY
what great
strength
it
takes
to submit oneself
in humility
toward
a best * crew
of men
striving for
righteousness
together.
i
respect
you
(chicken head)
and
can't wait
to
walk
with
you


YOUR AFFECTION

This present glory, love, once-given grace,
The sum of blessing in a sure embrace,
Must not in creeping separateness decline
But be the centre of our whole design.

We know it’s love that keeps a love secure,
And only by love of love can love endure,
For self’s a killer, reckless of the cost,
And loves of lilactime unloved are lost.

We build our altar, then, to love and keep
The holy flame alight and never sleep:
This darling love shall deepen year by year,
And dearer shall we grow who are so dear.

The magic word is sharing: every stream
Of beauty, every faith and grief and dream;
Go hand in hand in gay companionship -
In sober death no sundering of the grip.

And into love all other loveliness
That we can tease from time we shall impress
Slows dawns and lilacs, traceries of the tress,
The spring and poems, stars and ancient seas.

This splendour is upon us, high and pure
As heaven: and we swear it shall endure:
Swear fortitude for pain and faith for tears
To hold our shining barrier down the years.

***
Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32

***

He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

***

all my love,

jcb(k)

My Desk Lately

Something has happened.

Either I am:

(a) the beneficiary of an amazing burst of friendship-love from two dear friends across the sea as a result of a strange twist of luck from the universe and/or lottery
(b) I am finally being rewarded for being mildly to mostly average
(c) need endless amounts of encouragement as I am virtually a vat of need (this answer is right no matter what)
or
(d) God laid it on the hearts of these two ladies to speak truth, love, loveliness, and wonderful selflessness to me.

I chose all the above.

Thank you God for friends.

For Mo & Clay

Sweet Jesus,
I want to lift up to you the Wooten family.
I cannot.imagine.how scary things must be for them.
But, I do know that Monique and Clay both have unwaveringly,
unfaltering, pursued you and your purposes for their lives.
Father, their lives have encouraged my walk with You.
And I know even now in the midst of incredible doubt and fear,
that their prayer is still for you to be glorified.
So, I am asking that You would be glorified in their lives in this season.
Father, bring healing to Clay.
Bring restoration.
Bring joy and hope when it's just scary.
Lord, let Hazel be a symbol of promise of LIFE in their world.
I know that you hold all things together, that by you all things have their substance.
I know that you hold them and sustain us.
So let this prayer be like incense before you, and may it rise to bring glory to YOUR name,
And healing for Clay.
Amen.

May my prayer like incense rise before You
The lifting of my hands as sacrifice
Oh Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
For I know there is mercy in Your sight

Your statutes are my heritage forever
My heart is set on keeping Your decrees
Please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
Let Love keep my will upon its knees

[Chorus]
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

[Verse 2]
To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your Word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

All Your ways are loving and are faithful
The road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride

[Chorus]

[Selah]
To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your Word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
I will seek You in the morning
I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

Bleach and the Day of Love

Valentine's Day.

Jordan came to pick me up after a few hours of being on my hands and knees cleaning toilets, baseboards, and sinks for the little house cleaning business I have. On my walk home, Jordan intercepts me with my car.

I open the door to him holding (in his bare hands) two chocolate-dipped strawberries in one hand, and a single flower in the seat.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" he exclaims. He's delighted.
I laugh and get in the car. The smell of bleach and PineSol and lots of other weird things fill the car immediately (I'm feeling very grubby....)

"I cleaned your car, and...." he points directly to the gas tank indicator on my dash (because he knows I'm not observant enough to take notice of the now-full tank).

Sigh.

He cleaned my car. Filled my gas tank. Brought me a flower and some chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Does the boy know me or WHAT? Ha. I mean, what else could a girl POSSIBLY want?

dear annie across the sea

dear annie goes away

across the sea, far from me
my heart is happy for her heart
but still i hate the parting part

she goes and goes on the tips of her toes
dashing over oceans and snows
so fast goodyes and hellos

come back, anne h,
we need you - if only to bake!?
and plus also to reason me from stupid mistakes

sigh. ok, all's well with me
i'll just be waiting under the BFF tree

lovely little things

came in the mail for me the other day.

lovely layne, a friend who became a friend through the weird fact that we are basically the same person except that she eats hamburgers and I don't.
Really. I mean, sometimes it's strange how much we think/act/are alike.

ANYWOO.

in true layne fashion, she sent me a lovely little celebratory package (ALL THE WAY FROM ACROSS AN OCEAN, I"LL ADD) for my recent engagement.

how thoughtful! how kind! how generous!
(see? I told you she was like meeeee)
Jk.

Lovely Layne. I'm glad to share so much with you.
you're cooler than I am, though. i mean, you're currently traveling ALL over the WORLD (literally) using this wonderful expression of art to glorify God and bring justice to the mistreated.
You.Are.Legit.
so.
that's why we're friends.
And i'm only a tid bit sad that you are much cooler than I am.
BUT
i will rejoice in that because YOU would rejoice in that if I were cooler than YOU.

so.

someday soon i shall marry my love and friend.


eek.

So.

I'm writing for a blog now called Liquid.

You know you want to read.

what i love about kh

what can I even say about miss katie h? i love her so dearly. 1. i think she has one of the most keen, witty sense of humor I've ever come across. It's like quick satire meets sassy understatement. 2. i think her heart is full of courage. i think she will go and do things that many people won't. 3. I think she is SO dang cute. i mean, seriously. 4. i think she has a healthy balance of independence with respect for others. basically, she's becoming a proverbs 31 woman even if she doesn't know it. 5. i know that when things are hard, she still pushes forward. i hesitate to use the word tough, but she's tough. yet, oh so tricky to use that word, b/c she's also delightedly feminine and soft. 6. i think there's a peace about her spirit even in the midst of the troubled waters. 7. i think God has purposed in her something sweet and special and will probably be realized in a brilliant creation of the shade of gray (not as in sad, just as in gray, the sweetest color out there right now....). It will have to come out in some delightfully artistic expression, because she practical oozes delightful artistic expression. 8. i respect her love for all things chocolate cookie. 9. i respect her for seeking God even when it doesn't feel like it. 10. "For The Lord's portion is His people, Jacob, His allotted heritage. He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He kept him as the apple [ee-shone] of His eye." Deuteronomy 32: 9 - 10.

don't let me forget

...to be thankful for this week.

Gracious. Thank you Jesus for opening doors, for giving favor, for giving exceedingly abundantly beyond.

Thanks to my sweet small group of girls who gave of themselves to help me out with my new job.

So so thankful.

happy birthday, jefe!

Holy moly. I'm tired. Kasey (the sister-in-law) and I and another of my brother's friend hijacked my John from work yesterday for his 30th birthday. He was subsequently blindfolded and taken skydiving. Then dinner with way too many people and karaoke afterward - John did an entire Snoop song (wound up so out of breath that a lung nearly collapsed, but still...). It was epic. And exhausting.

But it was worth it!

And I of course wanted to take this post to honor him on his 30th bday with a list of my favorite moments of all times with
John Stanley.

10. When I was jogging on the Bear Trail in college (It was the cool thing to do. Be seen. Be in shape.), John and his friend were driving past me. They decided it would be funny to swerve onto the curb to spook me while I was in the zone and not paying attention. They did. And in my ever-present agility and bodily awareness, I managed to trip, face plant and break my walkman. (YEAH, IT WAS A WALKMAN. SO?). John had to drive me home because I managed to hurt my hip in the incident. THANKS A LOT, JOHN.

9. My freshman year at Baylor, all three of us older siblings were at the same school. It was epic (not for my parents....), in that literally, everything I said or did wound up coming back to them. I hated/loved that. Being a naive little freshman, I went out to a frat party with some nice guy that I met in the Baylor Symphony. (He was a first-chair bassist - how dangerous could he be??). I was being cool, hanging and the party, minding my own business, when in stomps Mark (second oldest brother). He walks straight up to me (in mid-awesome dance move) and says,
"Jennie. This is the worst place you could be." I was so confused. I brushed him off saying, "What are you talking about? This is Kevin, he's nice!" Mark stomped out of the room. Two minutes later, he walks in, cell phone in hand. He shoved it in my face.

"Hello?" I answered.
"Jennie!" John's voice barked, "That is the absolute worse place you could be right now. You need to leave immediately."

I literally was so confused. How did they even know where I was? I mean, it's a fairly large campus, and I didn't regularly check in with them on my Friday night plans. Whatever. I stomped out of the party, humiliated, with Mark trailing behind me, making sure I went safely home to my freshman dorm. Apparently, that fraternity was infamous for slipping things in girls' drinks. Who knew? Later, when I was a little more aware of the social dynamics at Baylor, I realized, that was the worst possible place I could be. Ha. I most certainly DID NOT thank them then, but came to gratitude later.

8. This moment. I don't even remember it, but I love it.

For some reason, it reminds me of a time in college when I had a pretty dramatic anxiety attack - I called John (of course) and he came over while I cried and cried. He ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room and praying for me that night. What can I say? He's good at comforting sisters while they sleep.

7. Going to Haiti with John and a group of people he had helped organize back in 2007. I got to see him walking out as a leader who led with humility, hilarity and wisdom. His heart for the nations and for God's purposes in him and others is astounding. I've been on a few mission trips, and I think he was my favorite leader - the jefe! He was of course responsible and wise, but also a doofus and a lot of fun.

6. The morning Josh passed away, John was the first person I called. Sobbing and so scared, I will never forget what he told me. I had been so afraid of the fact that Josh went to hell, and all John said was,

"Jennie. Our only hope is that when we get to heaven, God will look at us and say, 'I'm more gracious and more loving than you could ever imagine.'"

I love that John lives out that truth. That our God is more kind, loving and gracious than we could even hope for. When John talks about his Jesus, he knows Him.

5. The face that John married one of my best friends, Kasey. I think who you choose for a mate says a lot about who you are. She is sweet, gracious and so kind - maybe some of John's more latent traits. HA. I love that he found for himself a sweet friend and companion and love for him to travel through life together with. They are awesome!

4. When I played in the Baylor symphony, the concert hall was posh and refined. And then there was my ape brothers and their friends acting a fool in the back row. Fist pumping and dancing, they were there to cheer me on at my first college performance. Sweet brothers. John even sent me flowers that day for the event. :)

3. The fact that whenever he says he loves me he always says, "I love you so much it makes me angry." HA. Jefe wouldn't be Jefe without unexplained, unavoidable angst.

2. The day before John left for college, I remember being so so sad. It was this weird moment of realization that our life as a family was about to change (haha...little did I know that we'd all end up at college together later...HA). John, being the sap and sensitive guy (he is hidden by a demeanor of a heart that's 3 sizes too small), played Garth Brooks' "Your Song" for us and as we all sat around and cried. I don't think I've even heard the song since then, but all I remember is that he was telling us that he loved us in his own way.

1. The endless, pointless, redundant jokes that we beat mercilessly to the ground. Jefe's humor is like mine: strange and a little distorted, and maybe slightly inappropriate. He likes awkward humor almost as much as I do. I LOVE it! It keeps me laughing whenever we are together, whether in the slums of Haiti or in the metropolis of Dallas. He is so much fun to be with. I appreciate that humor allows us never to take ourselves too seriously.

I love you, John!
I KNOW that this new year will bring new and amazing things for you and Kasey. As you walk forward, I'm praying that you'll find new life as a leader, a father, a friend and a son of God. Your gifts are irrevocable (no matter how hard you try) and
the calling God has on your life is as plain as the deviated septum in your nose.
Hopefully, you'll get over your awkwardness
as you leave your 20s.
If not, at least I'll be hear to remind you it's still there.

For you this year:

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:25-26.

congrats, pea!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK
Lovely Jill is getting marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiied.
EEK. I am so excited for them.
Jill is one of the most gentle, gracious, (sneakily hilarious)people
that I know
and I am SO glad she has found love and life
and will be getting hitched in the near future.

(please ignore weirdness of my face in above picture, pea, it couldn't be helped. I need one of
you and Brison!!)

Can't wait for you to be "Mrs. Pea Williams"

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I Corinthians 13: 1- 13

things not to communicate over IM

“I mistakenly told them you had Gonorrhea.”

She said that and then smiled. Her cheeks were like little cumulus clouds of delight as she found such humor in the mishap that managed to land me somewhere in the land of wild, unbridled promiscuity and her in the unaffected audience of the theatre of my demise. I wanted to punch the life out of those clouds. Not really. But, well, really.

It had come to my attention that sometime earlier in the week, after I had left the office building where I was temp-to-hire, my friend alerted the office that I had Gonorrhea in a horribly disastrous attempt to correctly name the tropical disease I contracted when I went overseas. (Noted here that the disease was called “Dengue Fever.” My friend told me later, “I just got stuck on the ‘G’ and then couldn’t get out of it!”)

Nonetheless, after things were cleared up (with a few over the counter meds and a vitamin regimen), I needed to make a point to talk to the HR manager about the full-time position they’d offered earlier in the week.

Enter: The intra-office Instant Message (IM) program used both professionally and unprofessionally by the office staff. Often the program is used in an effort to be polite and allow mildly-pressing business discussions to be submitted via IM and then responded to when convenient.

I then, took the opportunity to IM the human resources manager to ask if there was a time - at her convenience - when we could discuss the impending job offer in order to clarify roles and salary.

Jennie to HR manager: "Hey, when you get a minute, can we talk about the receptionist offer?"

HR manager to Jennie: "Oh yeah. About that. We've decided we don't want to move Elisa from her current position." {inserted FROWN-Y FACE}

Jennie to HR manager: “Oh. Haha.”

End of chat.

My own meagre "haha" was merely a cursory response to answer in like light-hearted terms. I literally had no idea what I was supposed to say to the fact that the job they offered was now un-offered over intra-office IM and with an, albeit empathetic, emoticon.

:( says: Goodbye income, goodbye benefits. Goodbye autonomy and ability to pay off debt. Goodbye Christmas. Goodbye Birthdays. Goodbye job offers and 401Ks. Goodbye stability. Goodbye steady regimes. Goodbye freedom from anti-anxiety medicines.

Hmm. I thought. It’s interesting though that despite the more-than slightly devastating news, the frowny face DID make me feel a bit better. Cheap empathy, maybe. But how would I have felt if she would have delivered that line WITHOUT the frowny face? Terrible! So, I continued with my temp work and reasoned, especially after I heard the Gonorrhea story, that their disinclination to hire me was not entirely unfounded.

During that same temp-to-hire stint, I worked in my brother’s office. We are pretty close, as family goes, and generally have been known to enjoy one another’s company. However, until working with him in the office setting, I had no idea that he maintained such an air of stodgy professionalism at all times. This obviously was hard to swallow since I had in my immediate possession some incriminating pictures of a certain office professional’s buttocks as he streaked through a Phi Chi party my sophomore year of college. At any rate, I played a few mild pranks on him during that time. Nothing detrimental or too distracting, but fun nonetheless.

Since he had a fetish with floss, I decided that should obviously work in my favor in my little pranks. One night I swiped one before I left and let it find a new home in a Jell-O mold that subsequently found its way into the office refrigerator with a large sign with his name on it. After the Jell-O mold-ed floss was planted, I plodded diligently along in my cubicle, waiting for the fun.

{overheard}HR manager: “John, I think someone just pulled a Dwight Schrute on you. I’m thinking maybe Jennie.”

John {walks to Jennie’s cubicle}: “Jennie, what did you do?”

I could see the big vein coming out of his forehead already.

Jennie: “What?”

John: “Did you put something in Jell-o?”

I couldn't smile yet, so I made myself think of something sad, like the fact that most of my college friends still can't differentiate between "your" and "you're" or my dog that died in second grade.

Jennie: “What in Jell-o?”

John: “I don’t know, in the break room?”

Jennie: “Huh?”

John: “Did you put a piece of office equipment in Jell-o?”

Jennie: “No.”

I answered sure and swift. He turned and marched so bow-leggedly to the break room that I was sure he was going to accidentally pivot on an axis.

HR manager: {peaks in Jennie’s cubicle}

Jennie: {smiles}

HR manager: {sits back at her cubicle}

John: {plops down Jell-O mold/mound container, now half-empty} “Where’s the top?" he said in a hoarse whisper, “Jennie, this is too soon. Are you trying to get fired?!”

My favorite vein of his to monitor was pulsating visibly now to the beat of something like "Hammer Time."

Jennie: {looks up meekly} “It wasn’t a piece of office equipment.”

life and times of the job hunt

Sooo I've become very un-picky about job-hunting lately.

Translation? I was doing my due diligence and putting a face with a name and all that networking nonsense by bringing my resume and a cupcake to a local grocery store's bakery manager (I'm thinking I'm very clever at this point). I had already filled out an application online, this was just the proverbial icing on my bakery job cake. (I am also thinking I'm very clever just now at that bit of writing).

So, I march myself right up to the manager and introduce myself quite awkwardly.

Me: "Hi, I'm Jennie, I understand you know the Hennighausens."

Manger: (Response should go here)

Me: "Er, well, they are loyal patrons of this wonderful Kroger."

Manger: (Response should go here)

Me: (Clears throat...losing confidence) "Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I applied online to the position open in the bakery and wanted to drop off this cupcake while I introduced myself personally so you could put a face with the name."

Suddenly, physics turned its ugly - but hitherto even unnoticed - back against me. All that I know and understand about gravity and/or my own bodily functionality changed.

As I finished the word "name" a bit of spittle flew from my mouth and landed on my cheek/eye area. I say it was a "bit," but let the records show that it was enough for me to need to wipe it away (two strokes), and for her to look down awkwardly at the cupcake, which now had just lost all appeal entirely.

I stood there blankly for an eternal 2.3 seconds before I then spouted out,

"You don't have to eat that."

I'm afraid my ill-timed spasm of the mouth might have shut that door.

Oh well.

ONWARD!

grateful heart

In spending time with the Lord today, I was OVERWHELMED with how generous He has been through others to me.

I am so thankful for life here at 6918. I am thankful that I have a lovely space to call my own; a place to bake incessantly; a family to sit around the dinner table with; and laughs to be shared constantly.

I am so grateful for the help/advice/instruction from FLH on budgeting/finances. I am thankful to be learning principles of saving and of simplicity because of it.

I am so thankful to those who believe in me and who give generously to allow me to pursue counseling without incurring further debt.

I am so so thankful and humbled by friends who pray regularly, consistently for me in the secret places with our Heavenly Father.

I am thankful that my sweet brother and sister-in-law are generous with me even in their own need (because of which, I now have lovely, freezing, air conditioning in my car!!).

I am grateful for my job that is life-giving and FUN.

I am thankful to Suz and Sean and Corinne and John who gave computers to me!!!

I am thankful to the FLH and MGH who celebrate half-birthdays.

I am so so thankful for my health and the health of my family.

I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father continually reminds me that the lilies toil nor spin, but are arrayed more splendidly than Solomon. I am thankful that He wanted Mary to just sit as His feet.

I know that His gifts are more than physical, but I am SO THANKFUL for the ones that are.

today's page in my journal

good grief.
before I forget and have to do more dang character development,
I wanted to write a few things down.

This is what I know:

- everyone has a perspective, a background, a history, a frame of reference and it probably involves some amount of hurt or need or suffering that I couldn't understand.

-death to flesh hurts sometimes

- "His ways are higher." His thoughts are not my thoughts.

-His 'goodness' may not look like monetary or physical means.

- I have a roof over my head

- I can usuallly find something to be grateful for (or repent of)

- sanctification is not really a pretty process (at least for me)