I was musing over the weirdness/uncertainty of my life last night with my mom, and I found myself repeating words that I almost recognized, but wasn't quite sure where I had heard them from. I was talking (complaining/whining) about how I am trying to do things "right" and why then, would the Lord be withholding from me? What cause for this continual state of "waiting" or unknowing (or ignorance, whatever...)?
It wasn't until early this morning that i remembered that I had blogged a while ago about just such a scenario here.
Would I still praise His name when breakthrough/revelation/help didn't come? Holy hell. Maybe not? I mean, my praise these days is a kind of wimpy, half-hearted "thank you" to the God of the universe who still lets me breathe each day.
I think I rebuke myself.
And I do praise you, Lord; for my health, for my family, for my best friends who are faithful to continue to pray for me, for my job, for MUSIC, for that lovely vacation that we had, for restoration, for healing, for my violin, for learning to walk with you, for your grace that covers me every.single.day, for crickets that chirp, for the early morning that's just quiet enough for me to hear from you, for giving your life for me. Hallelujah.