why He whispers

It's probably been a year since I first started striving.

Ha.

No really. All this time I've been striving to hear His voice about what my next steps are, striving to find my purpose, striving to make a living doing something that doesn't make my soul shrivel up like a dried up raisin (thank you, Jordan).

I can't say I've been especially patient.

Er.

I can't say I have been patient.

But I was in the kitchen the other day, and felt I heard the Lord's voice gently reminding me where I was headed.

"There you are, Lord, where have you been?" I asked, instantly tearful. My heart has been so heavy with striving after His voice and His will. But it was as if I suddenly realized He had been speaking in a quiet whisper to me all along. "But why did you have to whisper?" I begged, hurt and impatient.

"Because I knew you would never listen to a Father who yells," was His only reply