annie

Well, Annie's birthday was last Friday, so here goes an "Everything Annie" post.

In my ripe old age, I have found that true friends (like, down to the core of who you are) are really so rare. And I have the most wonderful privilege to call Anne my Friend. (Capital "f," because that's the only way to address her without having to say weird things like "ultimate friend" or "only best friend.")

ANYWAYS.

Anne and I's friendship began in the weirdest way. It started with both our good friends being out of the picture, us deciding on a whim to room together, a handful of weirdos who gathered around us, and the ensuing "Anne and Jennie" world that then quickly developed.

I don't believe I have wanted to be apart since.

Generally, Anne is just me - revised. Hah. She has a filter that I envy, a moral fortitude that is unmatched, a kindness unwavering, and a humor that is uncanny. I think one of my favorite things to watch is how she cares for other people. As simple as it sounds, she is so unselfish when it comes to others: the way she listens, the way she serves, the way she goes about her day. I can't think of anything she wouldn't do for her loved ones.

(trip around hawaii)

And that's what makes her time at YWAM so amazing. Right now, Anne is living 700 miles away from all her closest friends and family, and has committed to doing so for over a year in order to give her life to advance His Kingdom. Her choice may be a biiiiiiiiit padded by the beauty of Hawaii (beach), but I know she feels deeply her sacrifice even in her bravery.

Even if I'm not right there beside her through all this, I can be sure of a few things: one, that she is handling change and uncomfortableness with a grace that is pure and gentle; two, that she is loving those strangers around her with as much strength as she would love friends she's known for all her now-24 years; and three, that she misses me terribly and would do anything to have me there, because, duh, it's just better when we're together.

I was talking to my mom just last night about relationships and difficulties within them, and she was asking me about my friendship with Anne. All I could say was that "we do life the same." And that's one of my very favorite things about her. There is such a peace and rest that comes with being with someone who you don't have to pretend around. I don't have to pretend to be good, or be whatever because Anne understands me better than anyone I've ever known. Even if I tried to pretend -- she'd know I was pretending and then call me out on it. And it's not like we've never had conflict (thank you, YWAM). We have. And it only made me appreciate her more. In my tendency to ignore and to withhold, her gift is to seek out reconcilation and peace. Her life is so submitted to His voice and His leading that she could never be comfortable with not being honest if she felt something was out of step with who God is, or who He has called her or I to be.

(thanks for the amazing capture, Zhenya)

And yet, even at my worst -- head over the toilet, vomitting my guts out from a liiiiiiiiiitle too much to drink -- I never felt less loved or less cared for. For that, I am so grateful. How the h she manages to balance integrity and grace like she does I will never friggin know.

And now, a brief listing of my favorite things abour her (or her and I).

1. How we both wear panty hose still to nice events -- because that's how good girls are raised.

2. Her love for sweets. Specifically, cookies.

3. Her ability to draw hilariously true, insightful Paint pictures of awkward/memorable/imaginative situations.

4. How we manage to be doing the same thing/thinking the same thing even when we're miles and miles away. (ie: reading Weight of Glory without telling one another...)

5. The way we laugh when we're jogging.

6. The way she hits me with her racquet in racquetball.

7. Her inappropriateness when no one else is watching.

8. Her love for the ridiculous.

9. How she is always learning and trying new things.

10. Her unfailing honesty and grace.

(TTF for life)

So, HaPPy BiRthDAy AnNie!?!?!?!IEIEIEIEIEIEIIEI

And to end with one of my favorite quotes from Anne...ever:

"I might set you on fire if you wake me up in the morning."

- Anne Elizabeth Hennighausen

j.m.k

With tax day just last week, there is a need to celebrate...Jordan's birthday. I love how a few of my friends (aka: you, anne) have chosen to really honor someone on a day that is special....birthday...anniversary...etc...by blogging about them. SO.

Today is for Jordan.

Jordan is, as I have always said, one of the kindest people I know. Generally, his first inclination is to think, want, work for, look for the best of someone else. Sure, he hates on the generally-unstable charismatic crowd, and those are are intentionally, insatiably mean (st. louis drivers), but I think at the bottom of who Jordan is, he is waiting to think the best of them. I don't know why his kindness has always struck me, but it's like that song, something about the power of beauty in a wicked world. And that's what Jordan's kindness is -- it's like this beautiful, peaceful thing in the midst of a wicked and perverse generation (Thank you, Moses). And when all my kindness and gentleness has begun to wear away, his seems an unending fount.

Then there's his general ridiculousness. Ha. One of my favorite things about him at YWAM was that he and Anne and I had this perfect understanding about little hilarities that flew over most people's heads (i.e.: 4-hour Loren sessions or 8 years of protocol). While Anne and I would be trying desperately to hold in our laughter at our own depravity in comparison to sweet confessions of innocent little Korean girls who were broken of their having stolen Hello Kitty pencils when they were 4, Jordan's playful eyes would say a million different things, and then I was laughing in the middle of a very poignant moment.

I think his humor is delightful. It's like a general agreement that important things should never be taken too seriously, and ridiculous things (like giraffes) should be taken very seriously. He has flip-flopped a world of ghastly mistaken priorities, and so, with him, my world seems balanced.

As I've gotten to know jordan -- past all the pretend things that we love to pretend -- I have found that his pretend isn't really pretending at all. Sure, he pretends he's not afraid of Stan (my Dad), but he doesn't pretend to care or to confess or to really give. All those things to him are true and real.

And one of my very favorite things about him is that he isn't afraid. He isn't afraid of praying against huge territorial entities in the spiritual world (ahem); he isn't afraid of showing me who he is; he isn't afraid of leaving all his comforts (again and again) for a passion in his heart for the passions of His heart. He has intentionally put himself at unease to fulfill the will of God. He's shared his doubts and his frustrations, but I feel he has settled a long time ago that he would be at peace with who God is and where God called him.

sweet.

"In fact, everyone who has left his homes, brothers, sisters, father, mother, children, or fields because of my name will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."
Matthew 19:29

happy birthday, jordan. you are an old man.

Signed,
young, spring chicken

jesus saves...and so does LOTR

Sigh. At my desk on a snowy Monday morning. Lord of the Rings soundtrack in my ear buds saves me.

a thankful heart prepares the way

Though our mouths were full of song as the sea,and our tongues of exultation as the multitude of its waves,and our lips of praise as the wide-extended firmament;though our eyes shone with light like the sun and the moon,and our hands were spread forth like the eagles of heaven,and our feet were swift as hinds,

we should still be unable to thank thee and bless thy name,

O Lord our God and God of our fathers, for one thousandth or one ten thousandth part of the bounties which thou has bestowed upon our fathers and upon us.

- Hebrew Prayer

For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song.

Isaiah 51:3

Oh man. I think I just did this "thankful" post at Thanksgiving, but here it comes again.

I am so thankful for a family that loves and cares for me (and has not yet kicked me out....); for a best Friend who loves at all times, whose heart is wild and sweet, and whose adventures I can now live through vicariously, for my friend and love, Jordan, who has taught me the meaning of kindess and who likes me when I don't have make up on; for my sweet Katie Apple, who has taught me about His faithfulness and providence; for my sister who remains continually on my side; for my job(s); for my health; for my sisters-in-law who are total opposites but who I love the same; for my brothers, with whom I have an understanding that I could never explain; for faithful friends who pray for me without my knowing; and lastly, for chocolate chip cookies.

I love those damn things.

His

He is jealous for me.

He is unwaiveringly, unfailingly for me. He is eternal. He is perfect.

He is kind to me.

He is King of Kings. He is holy. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He is sacrificial. He is the true judge.

His word will not return void. His promises endure.

He is more faithful than the coming morning. He is my hope. He is my shield.

"He has been a refuge for us..."

He is unchanging, immutable, everlasting.

He is my hiding place.

He is my song, my strength.

He has set me in the cleft of the rock to show me His face.

He is glorious.

He is a good shepherd. He neither slumbers nor sleeps.

He sees me.

And I am His.

Hallelujah.

Rescue

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
where else can I go?
There's no other name by
which I am saved
Capture me with grace

I will follow you

My heart is yours for life
I need your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord I put my trust in You

love

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13: 7-8

HOLY MOLY.

It's funny that I think if as Christians, we could really understand/believe/live this kind of love, we'd be sooooooooooo much better off. Seems strange that these two more-than-very familiar verses have seemed like I read them for the first time today.
But dang if I don't need to hear it again.


and again....




and again....



and again....