new/old vision

if i could,
i would be paid to be a musician: violin, ukelele, harmonica, kazoo, whatever. there is just a life in music that i can't really explain, but only understand vaguely enough to pursue wildly.

i want to help people.

that sounds stupid and idealistic, but i do. at the very basis, i want my life to be in service for someone.

if i never had to reconcile a business account again, i wouldn't be sorry in the slightest.

i desire,
crave,
need,
adventure.

i think i have allowed myself to be lulled to sleep by the drone of passing cars in a city during rush hour, and have forgotten what adventure is. and it's true: my adventure may very well be in another 9 to 5 job, but i am certain no shrub is safe from wild attacks of imagination from here on out.

i want to be known as an intercessor.

i believe in the power and movement of prayer, and i want it to be something that defines me. the only answer i have ever found to be uncompromisingly true has been something i've discovered in prayer.

i still believe that i follow Christ

because

i

met

Him

and He changed me.

that may sound mystical or flimsy, but it's the Truth. i don't believe someone can be changed by imagination or even by their own will.

i

believe

it's

because

He

is

alive.

as backwards as this sounds - especially with a post with the majority of sentences beginning with "i" - i don't want my life to be about me. i've done that and it just turns into a self-pitying vortex of empty faster than i can take deep breaths to talk myself out of it.

i want it to be for someone.

for them in prayer.

for them in love.

for Him in life.